Saturday, July 30, 2005

VRP Hypocrisy?

Project’s Founder Guilty of Poor Word Usage

KANSAS CITY, Mo.
In late breaking news yesterday, several readers detected lingual slip-ups on the prestigious blog, The Vocabulary Reclamation Project. And while the cumulative faux pas was relatively slight, the media quickly became involved.

Mr. Vanderhorst, founder of the VRP, was initially unavailable for comment. However, reporters eventually cornered Vanderhorst on the lush patio of his downtown penthouse, sipping a martini in a luxurious dressing gown. At first, he attempted to talk about his hoops game, his tastes in gourmet coffee, and even his “other blog,” the award-winning BitterSweetLife. Eventually, though, Vanderhorst was induced to provide a sound byte concerning the VRP:

“Hey, seein’ as how some dude went over the thing with a fine teethed [sic] comb, I’m just happy he saw only two—count ‘em—just two mistakes! C’mon, the freakin’ spellchecker can’t catch everything. Just forget that, ok? People should be grateful, this cool thing I’m trying to do to—”

At this point, Vanderhorst’s explanation was interrupted by several people, apparently a secretary and three lawyers, who hustled him into the house, where he apparently remained. As of this morning, there have been no further Vanderhorst sightings.

However, as this story was heading to print, a written press release was made available:

Despite the character assassination recently attempted by several (no doubt) green-tinged parties, the VRP will continue to operate as usual. I will not allow such miniscule impediments to prematurely derail the project. In the future, however, as regards minor syntactical errors, I will be more assiduous.

Ingenuously,

Ariel Vanderhorst, Founder, Vocabulary Reclamation Project

Speculation continues as to whether the VRP’s reputation for bold sophistication might be jeopardized by this incident. An inside source, speaking under the alias “Profound Esophagus,” suggested the answer is probably negative, based on Vanderhorst’s bent toward flashy but erratic genius.

In all likelihood, the VRP will continue its verbal crusade.

4 Comments:

Blogger © 2003-2007 M-mv said...

Very punny.

11:53 AM  
Blogger Sprittibee said...

Nice show! Well done. You might have left off a "to" in that last sentence or two.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Andrew Simone said...

I believe the last "to" to be of the utmost importance. But that is neither here nor there. Ariel, we in St. Louis completely support you and have released an official statement.*

*see my blog "overlyconscious.blogpost.com"

6:34 PM  
Blogger tom said...

Well played.

11:51 PM  

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